Book share -- "For the Love"

Click here to find the book! 

Oh man. I love this book for so many reasons. It had me crying then laughing within the first few pages. (I'm capable of the full spectrum of human emotion within 20 seconds these days.) I think I recommended this book to 8 friends this week. Not kidding. 

From the Amazon book summary: "Jen Hatmaker bares the refreshing wisdom, wry humor, no-nonsense faith, liberating insight, and fearless honesty that have made her beloved by women worldwide."

My favorite sections are her sarcastic "thank you notes" throughout the book, in between the more serious subjects. Here are a couple to give you a taste... 

"Thank you, Obvious Warning Labels. Without you I might have stuck my kid in a washing machine, lit a match near an open gas line, used my hair dryer while sleeping, or, God forbid, not realized eggs may contain—wait for it—eggs. I have no idea how I ever function without you. (I almost ingested the contents of a lava lamp just yesterday, but your label made another quick save. God bless.)"

"Thank you, Instagram filters, for you have helped me put out many works of photographic fiction that make me appear younger, tanner, and thinner than I actually am. Natural lighting may be my nemesis, but Lo-Fi is my BFF. LYLAS."

"Thank you, Department Stores, for the flickering fluorescent lights, dingy yellow wall paint, and adjustable mirrors in the dressing room where I try on bathing suits. You are why I drink."

This book was a great reminder of how to take myself less seriously, stop aiming for perfection, and to give myself the grace I try to give to others. Jen hatmaker is a genius. 

Thoughts on Grief

A friend of mine who lost her brother two years ago today shared this article with me. 

What a well written glimpse into what grief can feel like...

http://johnpavlovitz.com/2015/10/31/the-day-ill-finally-stop-grieving/

This right here...

"This ironic combination of searing pain and complete numbness was going to give me a layer of compassion for hurting people that I’d never had before." 

"These tragic times are somehow oddly comforting even as they kick you in the gut."

But this... This gripped me and made my heart buck and bristle...

"You are forced to face your inability to do anything but feel it all and fall apart. It’s incredibly difficult in those quiet moments, when you realize so long after the loss that you’re still not the same person you used to be; that this chronic soul injury just won’t heal up. This is tough medicine to take, but more difficult still, is coming to feel quite sure that you’ll never will be that person again. It’s humbling to know you’ve been internally altered: Death has interrupted your plans, served your relationships, and rewritten the script for you." 

Phrases like "inability to do anything" and "chronic soul injury" cause me to want to scream from the rooftop this truth from 1 Thessalonians 4...

“And regarding the question, friends, that has come up about what happens to those already dead and buried, we don’t want you in the dark any longer. (Another version says "we want you to know what will happen to the believers who have died so you will not grieve like people who have no hope.”)

First off, you must not carry on over them like people who have nothing to look forward to, as if the grave were the last word. Since Jesus died and broke loose from the grave, God will most certainly bring back to life those who died in Jesus.”

1 Thessalonians 4:13-14 MSG

Oh my gosh y'all. I can't tell you how these words make my heart leap. Also, yes, I will never be the same. (But thank God!) And yes, my heart is injured. But I also serve a God who "heals the broken-hearted and binds up their wounds..." (Psalm 147) Let that sink in...and change everything. 

(Just had to share another picture to show off my stud dad and my beautiful Mom. I ADORE this picture.) 

Putting "First Things" first

I'm still processing the truth that my Daddy is not here. There is so much going on in my head and my heart at this moment that I'm not sure what to say in this space. 

But I feel a numb peace at this moment, and for that, I'm thankful. 

The past week has set my world upside down. My perspective has completely changed. At this point in my life, I was feeling a little lost in work and chores and fitness goals and to-do lists. All GOOD things. But not "First Things." And right now, I have a clarity that I never want to lose again. That clarity is this: Life is short. And all that matters is loving God and loving people. 

Jesus said it best here-- 'Love the Lord your God with all your passion and prayer and intelligence.’ This is the most important, the first on any list. But there is a second to set alongside it: ‘Love others as well as you love yourself.’ These two commands are pegs; everything in God’s Law and the Prophets hangs from them.””

Matthew 22:37-40 MSG

I want to love others the way my family and I have been shown love this week. 

Billie and I pulled in our driveway Wednesday night to find a basket of goodies and two flower arrangements along with multiple cards. 

Within the next several days, I received 3 paleo meals cooked by friends, a plant and memory blanket from my coworkers, and packages in the mail including a "sunshine box" and a picture frame. I will NEVER forget these things. 

But the sweetest gift has been people sharing their memories of dad. I will never stop talking about him. And I plan to never lose the perspective of "First Things" again. 

Praying for your marriage

My Aunt, Jennifer White is the author of the blog Prayerfully Speaking as well as the book Prayers for New Brides. 

Through her website, I receive a weekly email with specific prayers and corresponding scripture to pray for my husband and my marriage. It's been such an encouragement to me, especially since it's hard to know what to pray for at times! 

I'll let her tell you more about it...

"Marriage Armor for the #PrayingBride offers you a simple, one-sentence prayer based on God’s Word to pray over your marriage. It is available in a daily email or a weekly digest.

Here is a glimpse of both options.

(daily)

(weekly)

You can use this link to subscribe----> 

http://bit.ly/MarriageArmorSubscribe

My hope is to help wives of every age and stage of marriage to simply rely on God to supply all we need and more than we can imagine. 

Prayer is simple and God is faithful. His Word always accomplishes His plan.

I believe He is waiting to pour out His unlimited love, power and resources on us. All we have to do is ask and believe.

Imagine our marriages a year from now and five years from now brimming with more of the fruits of His spirit than we comprehend. I believe He will use us to display faith, hope, and love to those we influence. I envision us as cities on a hill where people see God!

If you would like to have these prayer prompts delivered to your inbox, just subscribe. You can easily unsubscribe at any time. I promise not to sell or distribute your email address to anyone under any circumstances."

My favorite pastor says "I believe there are more answers in heaven than there are prayers on earth." 

Contentment

This word has taken up residence in my thoughts lately. Along with Paul's words from Philippians 4:11... "I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances..." But I'm left with some questions. Paul totally left us hanging! I want to ask him,

But what does contentment mean? 

What does it look like? 

And how the heck do I GET it?

Is it a choice? It is learned with practice? 

Maybe it's both. 

Paul chose to be content rather than to depend on a change in circumstances to fill a need. I don't know about you, but that gets me.

Let's take that a little deeper...

It's possible to be content in my current situation and still prefer different circumstances. 

Hope that thought encourages you. 

 

Song Lovin'

We Will Not Be Shaken (song) // Brian Johnson // We Will Not Be Shaken ...

The new Bethel album, "We Will Not Be Shaken" has been on repeat for me the past couple weeks, and I've recommended it to about 6 people in that time. This is track 1 on the album. Hope the words ring true to you as they have for me this week!

Moving From Pity to Praise

I began this post in November, when we received word that Billie would deploy. However two weeks before the scheduled departure, that changed. Well now it's appropriate all over again. Billie is scheduled to deploy in a handful of days, and I find myself navigating similar feelings. However it gives me courage that I feel stronger this time around because of the lessons I started learning then. Hope this may encourage someone. Thanks for reading...


We got word that Billie is re-deploying.

And the tears man, they just keep comin'. 

 At unexpected times and for unexpected reasons.

When my alarm goes off. On my drive work. Into my bowl of butternut squash soup at the dinner table.

Realizations of the ways our lives will look differently for the following months than I had planned. 

But a few things I've learned about grief...

Emotions come and they go. Acknowledge and accept them even when you don't understand them. 

Anxiety, anger, loneliness. It's ok to feel those. 

All at once or all in a matter of 5 minutes. 

It's ok. 

Just don't live there.

Instead, focus on the here and now.

Focus your thoughts on what is TRUE, not feared or confabulated.

Give "one day at a time" a new meaning by refusing to let your mind wander into tomorrow, next week, or next month, attempting to anticipate how you will feel or how you will cope with each life event. 

The "what ifs" are the Enemy playing tricks on you. 

God can handle it. 

And if you are a Christian, his Spirit lives IN you, meaning you have access to incredible power. 

So when thoughts creep in that breed fear, start to praise instead. 

When a voice says, "This lonely feeling is what you have to look forward to..." 

Take that thought captive and say instead, "Lord, I trust you."

"You won't sleep soundly through the night again."

Say, "That's not TRUE. Lord, I trust you." 

"What will you do if you get sick and you're here alone?"

"Lord, I trust you."

God knows what you need. He created you after all. 

And He can meet those needs however He chooses. 

Through a random text that makes you giggle. 

Through a small vision of a peaceful and joyful future. 

Through chamomile tea, which I think has magic sleeping properties. 

(And benedryl for the nights chamomile doesn't work.) 

Through supernatural strength that will be waiting for you when you need it. 

I'll ask God each day to direct my thoughts. And I'll take captive the thoughts that don't align with what I know to be true. About me and about the Lord. 

And then I'll wait. Wait for the peace promised to those who keep their MINDS on Him. 

"You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you! Trust in the LORD always, for the LORD GOD is the eternal Rock." (Isaiah 26:3-4 NLT)

Our sister, the hero

Today is a guest post from my sister, Lindsey. This post is about our oldest sister, Leigh Ann, and an honor our family received in her memory this week. Lindsey was there and can say it much more beautifully than I. So I'll let her take it from here...

A scab was torn off Tuesday as I attended a ceremony honoring my sister, along with many others, who chose the selfless gift of organ donation in hopes that lives would be saved. 

My great grandmother passed away only months before the tragic accident that took my sister's life. 

She and I rode from the graveside service together and "just happened" to start talking about organ donation. 

It had never come up, strangely enough since I felt like we knew everything about each other. We both agreed that organ donation was something we wanted to commit to, thinking this would be something we put on our drivers license so all would see when we passed in another 80 years, at a time our organs would probably not be of much use. 

However, if a life could be saved, why not! 

Well, it was God. He brought the topic up and lead to openness on both ends and it, in retrospect, was a timely conversation. 

I never dreamed Leigh Ann would be taken from this world at age 23. It is a good thing I didn't know this in advance. I probably would have stopped living at that point because, as I wrote her in a poem a few years before on her birthday, "without you, I could never be".

She was my best friend and sister- only 15 months separated our birthdays. We were close. Extremely. I was told just the other day, "When people thought of your parents, they thought of the 3 of you girls (my sisters and me) as a whole. You were all close and always together."

That statement pegged us. 

I remember walking arm and arm into church on Sundays, probably being a little silly but portraying how our relationship was. Sure we had our moments, but we had each others backs. And we knew it.

You don't know what you can get through until it happens. 

Her death was a pivotal point in my life. 

There are 3 reasons I made it through:

-Supernatural strength ("not the brute strength but the glorious inner strength that comes from Jesus" - from Colassians and Ephesians).

-Tangible peace ("if in this world you will have troubles, but I leave you my peace, that where you are, I will be there also")

- Hope ("death where is your sting? I have conquered death and defeated the grave", says The Lord)

Tuesday, the local hospital that served her as a patient in her last moments on earth, had a ceremony honoring her As an organ donor. They established a "wall of fame" to honor the Heros that made the selfless gift of organ donation.

Because of her decision to donate, 3 of her organs we used to bring healing to 3 different people. 

As you can read in the article below, one of these would have died within 24 hours without a transplant. 

Her life lost was other lives saved. 

After the ceremony, the families and friends of the donors met in front of the hospital where The LOPA (Louisiana Organ Procuremwnt Agency) raised a flag in their honor that will fly high for the month. 

It was a hard day full of emotion, but I felt like Leigh Ann was honored. 

So, for my family and me, it was worth it. 

Feel free to Read the article at: http://www.thenewsstar.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=2014304010029  Also, last week I was able to share a small part of my testimony at church. Not so much about loss or grief but about the role my faith and the church played in my life during that time.  It was quick and, to me, not much , but if it blessed anyone, it was worth it.  The statement I made that I would repeat to anyone willing to listen is that we know hard times will come, but waiting until they do isn't the time to develop  faith in The Lord. It is because I had a church family and my faith that I was able to move on. I am so thankful for the blessing of having my sister for 22 years and for the memories that I will always hold near.

Need a lift?

Wow... The Devo book "Jesus Calling" just gets me.

Take Sundays devotional: 

This one got me. Each time I read it, something different jumped out. It looks like Billie will deploy again this fall. How I feel about it... Well that depends on which moment you ask me. 

But we prayed 1. Presenting OUR requests to God (Philippians 4:6) 2. Asking for Him to make His plan in our lives unfold 3. Submitting to the fact that He knows and controls all things and can work any circumstance for our good (Romans 8:28) 

"Light shines in the darkness for the godly. They are generous, compassionate, and righteous. 

They do not fear bad news. They trust the LORD to care for them." Psalm 112:4,7 NLT 

I don't know about you, but I want to be like that! In whatever circumstance, I hope God will be pleased with my "response" to it and the trust I put in Him... To do what He said He would do. 

A Word for 2014...

Do you have "a word" for the year? A word that will inspire and direct you, remind you of who you want to be and how you want to change this year?

I decided I want to be in on the word thing, too. :)

Click here for a few simple questions to get you started...
The abbreviated version includes these questions:
1. Determine the kind of person you want to become
2. Identify the characteristics of that person
3. Pick a word


Recently, I came across an article entitled, "8 Things That Reveal a Woman's Character." Have you seen it?

I'll let you check it out for yourself. But there were a 2 of those 8 "things" that really stuck out to me. Like... hit me in the face and I couldn't stop thinking about them. Here they are, in my own words.

#6. Am I ruled by truth or emotion? The article discusses the balance between feelings and truth. I want to ultimately let "the truth of Christ control, define, and settle" me. How awesome is that idea??

AND

#7. Fear of God vs. fear of man. The article explains how fear of man (or desire for approval, in my case) can be debilitating. However, fear of the Lord is the path to freedom. I don't want to be cowering in the corner when life is hard or I don't get the approval I desire. 


SO... out of those ideas... I'll be coming up with a word! Thanks for reading. :)

Some Song-Spiration For You...

When this song comes on the radio, my inner per-teen comes out. Then dancing and loud singing ensues. Anyone else??

My favorite lyrics:

It's been like a whole day, since I stopped. So You can hold me... 

Lord you are the refuge, that I can't wait to get to...

It's a love so true. I can never get enough of You... 



Happy Sunday, everybody. 

Youngbloods for Dinner + "Totally Awesome Chocolate Balls"

Thursday night, we had our pastor (Randy) and his wife, Kim over for dinner. In case you missed my recent post about my love for this couple, you can read it here. It was such a blessing to have them at our house! We had a great time... I could have talked with them all night! We were also giving them a little taste of paleo cooking...

Our paleo meal/dessert(s) were:
Roasted red pepper and avocado soup with meatballs
Frozen pumpkin dessert and
"Totally awesome chocolate balls"-----> below

They surprised me with some almond meal/flour from their recent trip to Trader Joe's in Tucson AND the "Against All Grain" cookbook. I was so excited!!! Just in time for some good holiday paleo baking. :)

After eating, talking, and laughing for a while, Randy and Kim prayed for me and Billie right in our kitchen. They prayed for our marriage, our jobs, our future. It meant so much to me. I could go on and on about the blessing they have been in my life. But I think you can see!



And here is the recipe for the "totally awesome chocolate balls." :) They were a hit! 

From: Lean Machine NYC

Ingredients:

1 cup pecans (plus 1/2 cup, separate)
1 cup pitted dates
1/2 cup organic almond butter
2 tablespoons organic cocoa powder
Pinch of salt

How to:

• Start by placing 1/2 cup pecans in a food processor and pulse until finely chopped. Put in a bowl and set aside
• Place remaining pecans, pitted dates, almond butter, cocoa powder and salt in the food processor and mix until the consistency of dough. If necessary, add a little more almond butter
• Shape the dough into balls (1 inch in diameter) and roll in chopped pecans
• Refrigerate (they freeze well too)
• Makes one dozen

Randy's Story

When Billie and I moved to Arizona and prayed for a good church, God kinda blew us out of the water with Thunder Mountain Community Church. Just by introducing ourselves to some people on Sunday morning and then connecting with the church on Facebook, twitter, etc, we were able to make friends and plug in almost immediately. Because of the church, I met my friend Charity the day before my first triathlon... and she was competing in it too. That alone was a blessing since I was scared out of my wits, and she had done the race before! 

We immediately bonded with our pastor. One reason was that he recently had tongue cancer. After his surgeries and treatment were completed, he received speech therapy. Yay for speech! :) (I'm a speech therapist, if you didn't get that.) That all happened before we moved to Arizona. The video below is a commercial promoting UAMC in Tucson. Pretty cool.

But Pastor Randy and his wife Kim are such a cool couple... I adore them, and I've told them so. It's been a huge blessing to work at the church office a few days a week. Often even in passing, Pastor Randy has passed on bits of encouragement or wisdom that seemed to be just what I needed at that time. If you want to grow spiritually, surround yourself with older, wiser Christians and see what happens. 


A few of my favorite Randy quotes:
"I believe there are more answers in heaven than there are prayers on earth."

"It's imperfection that allows us to represent Christ the best."

"Be willing to step over offenses and see the person's heart."

"I don't trust God if... I don't trust God when... I trust God period." --- in relation to cancer

"Ladies: focus on your husbands strengths and he will grow in those areas. Dwell on weaknesses and you will have a wimp!" --- Simple, Not Easy marriage series

 

Back to my main point for this post: This is Pastor Appreciation Month. So the church staff is doing little things for Randy all month.

I offered to make paleo muffins this week, and that's what I did!

Randy has a friend and a fellow pastor of his who are now "paleo," and we joke that maybe God is trying to tell him something. :) Next month, Billie and I are having Pastor Randy and Mrs. Kim over and cooking a paleo meal to give them a taste. Pun intended.

Anywho, I made paleo cinnamon pecan pumpkin muffins and my other favorite- coconut apple muffins for the occasion.

Paleo Cinnamon Pecan Pumpkin Muffins

Paleo Coconut Apple Muffins

Pastor Randy sent me this picture... eating his 4th... I think muffins were a success.

Paleo Cinnamon Pecan Pumpkin Muffins
From: Fit Paleo Mom

To make muffins you will need:
1 cup almond flour
1 cup almond butter
1 cup canned pumpkin
3 eggs, whisked
1/2 cup raw honey
1/3 cup coconut oil
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp baking powder
1/4 salt
1/2 tsp cinnamon
1/2 cup chopped pecans

1. Preheat oven to 350
2. Mix almond flour, baking soda, baking powder, salt and cinnamon in a large bowl (I also added pumpkin pie spice)
3. Add eggs, almond butter, honey, pumpkin and coconut oil
4. Mix well
5. Add chopped pecans
6. Pour into individual greased muffin tins in equal amounts
7. Bake for 15-20 min (I baked mine longer)

Happy weekend, everybody.

I don't know about you, but this was a tough week for me. I found myself emotional at different times, for combined reasons. One is that Billie and I still haven't found out where the Army will be moving us in 8 weeks. This is the second slate process we've been through and the outcome is still up in the air.

And remember the juicer I bought several weeks ago? It was missing 2 crucial parts. The lady who sold it to me has led me on about getting the parts to me. When I messaged her to follow up this week, she had lost my number and address I gave her a week before. Frustrating huh?

Most importantly, a sweet friend and patient of mine had a quick decline in health and passed away within a week. We will be celebrating his life at a service and after-party (per his request) today. So thankful I had the chance to see him and pray with him at the end.

There are several other things that contributed to a funky week. So I've been thankful for the quote I found and wrote on our chalkboard recently...

I've needed this reminder this week...

Things don't always go the way I think or hope or plan. I can't control friendships or situations. But nothing comes as a surprise to the Lord, and I will keep trusting Him that He's got it under control.

Here's to keeping our eyes and hearts focused on what matters most. The things that will last. And letting go of the rest.

Just finished reading...

Have you read it?  If you know me well, you know I'm not an avid reader... although I wish I was! A book has to be pretty darn good to get me engaged enough to finish it. And this one passed that test. I really enjoyed this book...

Do you know about sin eaters? Historically, sin eaters were used in 18th and 19th century Scotland, England, and possibly Wales. They were outcasts to society who had to hide away until they were called upon when someone died. While everyone turned their backs, the sin eater had to perform a ritual believed to remove the sins of the decreased person, so that they would not carry their sins into eternity.


The Last Sin Eater is a fictional story that takes place in a 1850s Appalachia settlement community.
The main character, Cadi, is wrestling with a tradgedy that she is blamed for. She seeks out the sin eater to see if he can help remove the weight and guilt of what she's dealing with (while she is still alive.) Meanwhile, a preacher comes into the valley and offers to preach the truth to whoever will listen. Most shun him, as they stick to what is familiar and known... the tradition of the sin eater. But Cadi and another child secretly meet and listen to what the preacher has to say. Their lives are changed by learning the truth about Jesus. But their newly found faith leads to confrontation in a community that was so founded on secrets, hate, and tradition.

Getting personal today. :)

I have always been a perfectionist. It has been even more evident and challenging since I got married. Wanting to have the clothes and dishes always done. Wanting each meal to turn out perfectly and on time. Wanting the house to be perfectly decorated and cleaned. Wanting Billie's approval more than ever, even though I already have it. Despite having the most grateful and affirming husband, I still tend to self-induce pressure. And ultra-high expectations.

Despite a few melt downs (like the day I cried because I couldn't finish putting together the office desk, which I expected myself to do while Billie was working so I could surprise and impress him)... This time in our lives has been so sweet. Mostly because I've been challenged to keep "finding myself" in Jesus and what He thinks of me.
With the reminders to:
1. Take nothing too seriously in life except for Christ.
2. Ask Christ to help me place importance on the things HE values and let go of the rest.
3. See myself in light of who I am Christ and not seek that in my husbands affirmation or in being a great wife, cook, athlete, etc.

And when I'm in the place where I'm resting in HIM, remembering what HE thinks of me, my responses change. My defensiveness dissolves. My priorities are in place. And peace is present.

I read this devotional from "Jesus Calling" a few days ago and it has continued to resonate with me.

"May 6

Do not search for security in the world you inhabit. You tend to make mental checklists of things you need to do in order to gain control of your life. If only you could check everything off your list, you could relax and be at peace. But the more you work to accomplish that goal, the more things crop up on your list. The harder you try, the more frustrated you become.

There is a better way to find security in this life. Instead of scrutinizing your checklist, focus your attention on My Presence with you. This continual contact with Me will keep you in My Peace. Moreover, I will help you sort out what is important and what is not, what needs to be done now and what does not. Fix your eyes not on what is seen (your circumstances), but on what is unseen (My Presence).

You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You.
—Isaiah 26:3 nkjv

So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.
—2 Corinthians 4:18"